Star Wars and Pregnancy are twins who knew!!!

Calm down everyone I'm not knocked up!!! My sis in law nicknamed Salty has a bun in the easy bake oven!!! Now Salty has her bouts with IBS (Irratable Bowel Syndrome) and since she has been with child she has been livin on the toilet while at the same time barfing in a bucket!!! I told Salty I would blog about pregnancy. I thought it would be fun to reference pregnancy and Star Wars and the amazing similarities between them both!!!

Pregnant women - Have a bun in the oven!
Star Wars- Princess Leia has 2 buns on the side of her head

Star Wars- Jabba the Hut sluglike character with no compassion for anyone and voracious appetite
Pregnant women- Just see above statement at sluglike!

Pregnant women= Giant round belly bigger than a moon
Star Wars- Death Star battle station bigger than the moon

Pregnant women- Have giant round belly but still able to have sex!!!
Star Wars- Death Star may look unfinished and yet is fully operational!!!

Pregnant women- Have OBGYN's giving them knowledge on progressing pregnancy
Star Wars- YODA nuff said!

Star Wars- The Force
Pregnant women- The Force to Pee all the time!

Pregnant women- Husband that is sarcastic and saying wrong things during contracions
Star Wars- Han Solo in almost every scene with Leia

Pregant women- Sterile white hospital staff nurses
Star Wars- Storm troopers

Star Wars- Darth Vadar
Pregnant Women- Lead Lacatation consultant (just my personal hellish experience :) )

Star Wars- Chewbacca
Pregnant women- Listening to nutrition advice and what not to eat is like listening to a Wookie talk!!!

Star Wars- AT ST attack vehicle or light saber
Pregnant women- any instruments used in any Dr. visit for pregnancy looks like some sort of weapon or vehicle used in Star Wars.

Star Wars- mass confusion on who Luke's Father was
Pregnant women- Some women have many ?'s about who their baby daddy's are!

Star Wars- Emperor
Pregnant women- Any creepy older complete stranger with creepy fingers that wants to touch your pregnant belly looks exactly like the Emperor from Star Wars!

Star Wars- Vadar Death Grip
Pregnant Women- At some point during labor all women try the death grip hand gesture to shut up baby daddy's!!

Star Wars- Annoying droids
Pregnant Women- Annoying weight scales at Dr. office

Star Wars- Millenium Falcon ( Han Solo's space ship)
Pregant Women- Prenatal Vitamins ( Yes they are to scale the same size as each other!)

Star Wars- Giant lipped singing alien in Cantina singing for Jabba the Hut
Pregnant Women- Giant downtown swollen lips nuff said!!!

The similarities between being knocked up and Star Wars are just mind blowing!!! So Salty when you are barfing at the smell of your own poop (direct quote in email from Salty I shit you not!!!) I hope you think of these little space nuggets of awesomeness!! You should totally knit yourself the maternity version of the outfit Princess leia wears while at the Cantina with Jabba the Hut, its every guys fantasy right!?!? So tell your hubbies to keep their Light Sabers away from the Dark Side unless you want to pop out some Ewoks folks!!! If you are pregnant then may the Force be with you especially during delivery!!!

Cheap pets 4 bday presents = death!

Okay so I am chattin it up with my sista and she tells me my niece went to a bday party that was Ariel under the sea themed. She said "Ariel" was there and gave each girl a shell necklace and photo op! The best is that "Ariel" tells the girls if they wear their necklaces in the ocean they too will turn into mermaids!!! My sister is MORTIFIED as Nana and Poppy live 15 mins away from mermaid making ocean!!! Lets just say my niece is pumped to visit Nana and Poppy where her mermaid dreams await yikes!!! Then the goodies for the guests at the party are LIVE GOLDFISH in little bowls!!!!!!!! My sis is pumped at having to buy food and keep Purple Dot (thats what my niece named it) ALIVE!!!! Now last week my friend tells me that her son got a live fish as a bday gift and she was pissed at the thought of having to keep death away for as long as she could!!!! So these stories remind me of my oh so horrific pet as a bday present gone bad moment!! I was in 4th or 5th grade and lets call her Shemnifer is having a home bday party. All us girls love goin over to her house because A: she has a huge field to go the hills are alive on and B: one of the cutest guys in school lives 2 houses down and always has cute friends over! So Shemnifer doesn't have the wealthiest of families but they got her 3 gerbils. Ummm ya they are kept safely in a CARDBOARD BOX on the floor. There is some hay scattered on the bottom and the lucky little gerbils have Barbie furniture to use at their discretion. They have a vanity table,chair,closet, and a plastic couch!!! Those Gerbils are livin in the glamfactory!!! It gets better people, the cover to Cardboard Gerbil Palace of Glam is a doll blanket!! Shemnifer also has 3 cats yes CATS!!! So the rule to all party guests is that if you play with the gerbils you must have the door closed when you enter and leave. No prob there are only 6 girls here who are stoked about rules and following them. So its cake time outside and I go in to go to the bathroom but one quick stop to check out the vermin I mean Gerbils! I then put back the protective blanket o'safety and leave to use the restroom! OH SNAP I left the bedroom door open, I run in there to find one cat actually eating one of the gerbils and I freak!!!! I remember this scene from a horror movie like it was yesterday!!! Everyone is outside and nobody knows anything so I go outside (racking my brain WTF do I do!!) and Shemnifer's bedroom window is to the side of the table we are at. I say Oh No Shemnifer the cat is in your room (like I could see from the window and now I'm saving the day)! Everyone goes screaming into the house, Shemnifer's dad grabs the cat and throws it through her bedroom bedroom like a boomerang! Shemnifer is crying her eyes out, her dad is swearing like a sailor at the cat. At this point the party has lost its buzz and parents come pick up their kids. My dad comes to get me and I get in the car and we drive off. He says "how was the party?" I burst into tears and blurt out the whole story like the scene in Goonies where Chunk is sobbing everything he ever did wrong from 1st grade so they won't put his hand in the blender! I mean how could the cardboard glam factory gerbil palace complete with blanket o'safety go sooo wrong!! Can't Gerbils chew through cardboard anyway???? Ughhhhh so nobody actually found out how the cat got the Gerbil buffet, but I knew...well and my fam!!! So check yourself before you wreck yourself when buying cheap pets 4 bday presents or goody bags!! Animal death even when there is cake involved isn't pretty!!!!!!!!