So Manchild is home from his travels and I'm super excited about our night out with friends! Its couples Bunco with my friends and its THEMED!!! I am always up for dressup anything and totally stoked for a theme! The theme is Ugly Xmas Sweaters or just hideous sweaters!!! Manchild is not so stoked about a theme but I bring a Xmas sweater vest for him and tell him he totally doesn't have to wear it but just in case there is one in the car. First stop is the casino for an hour of good times. I am wearing some sort of Doily chrochetted gold ball hideousness that goes great with thrift store high waisted leather pants and sequin leopard print wedges duh!!! I wear my lovliness to the casino as I am the only one with balls (those are sequin too) to do it. So we arrive and my bestie refers to me as Blanche the whole night (yes!! the slutty golden girl sweet!!). Everyone is gambling their childrens college funds away and I am gettin my drink on!!! As I saunter up to the bar Blanche style a 300 year old women comments on how she likes my sweater (score my $ has totally been well spent) I tell her I am going to turn it into a Xmas tree skirt by the time the night is over. Umm she couldn't hear me because she is 300 years old but hell ya she likes my sweater!!! So now we are off to Couples Themed bunco where 5 gallons of Amazing Sangria awaits and a taco bar!!! They had me at taco bar! So we park the car and the men folk banter over Xmas sweater similarities and boom it is said out loud the words "We should wear these with no under shirts!" Holla Game on!!! Besties hubby totally takes off under shirt and throws on holiday sleeveless greatness. Manchild feels the pressure and does not back down but puts on my Xmas holiday splendor. Oh snap Manchild looks like Xmas Abercrombie and Fitch gone bad!!! Leather mistletoe chokers would have completed the outfits but alas my Bedazzler is in the shop! Bestie and I go in and down Sangria as we are blinded and think everything well be better if we are shit faced. Wait it gets crazier as you know how Bunco can be! The booze is plentiful and so are the scissors!!! Accountant firm hubby decides his sweater isn't crazy enough so he cuts a huge vneck out of it to his navel. Then he slits the sleeves so they are trendy boho. Accountant firm hubby gives a piece of his sweater to Manchild to be worn as a headband!!! Ahhh then owns his own business hubby cuts the sleeves out of his sweater and wears them as leg warmers! Owns his own business hubby has also fashioned a headband and the shredding of clothing ensues!!! Accountant firm hubby has now slit his sweater completely down the middle and tied it up like a halter top with a knot! Now here is where shit goes crazy. Screaming and hysterical laughter comes from table 3 in the next room but we have no clue what is going on. Manchild claims Bill Gate's security goo roo hubby has cut the face out of the teddy bear adorned on my yes my sweater vest Manchild is wearing. Manchilds nipple has sharpie eyes so now his nipple is the new face of my said teddy bear xmas sweater vest. Manchilds nipple is the nose and sharpie eyes are now holidayrifically visible for all to cherish. I can't wait to wear this to my church's mom group function next year!!! Manchild says he will buy me a new sweater and it tell him no biggie I can't wait to get home and cut the crotch out of all his pants!!! It gets better my friends, the teddy bear face that was on the sweater is now being worn by owns his own business hubby. Its head is taped to his nipple and he is still workin those leg warmers Jane Fonda style. Manchild has also made the game more interesting ( F'ing annoying) by instead of actually rolling the dice he slams his fist on the table as to make the dice sort of move. This is actually working in his favor and totall pissing me off ( ya its called cheating you bastard!). Well by the end of the night Account firm hubby has completely ripped off his sweater and is wearing it like a hat and he is shirtless!!! I am only hoping that the newer couples aren't completely freaked out by the wild ones and will continue to play Couples Bunco in the future! I am now nervous to all Bunco themes as if there are a pair of scissors anywhere in reach all of us wives are screwed!!!!! If we are really lucky the next theme will be White Trash Bunco and there will be a big contest for the guys to see whose Daisy Dudes (Man Daisey Dukes) can be the shortest!!!! Us wives will need a 10 gallon cooler of Sangria!!!!!!!!!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment